


Winds Howl, Mountains Stand

by HybridTrash13, THybrid21



Category: Naruto
Genre: AO3 exclusive, Agender Character, Alternate Universe, Auditory-Tactile Learning, Autism Spectrum Disorder, Autism/Aspergers Syndrome, Brainwashing, Chakra Supersensitivity, Companion Animal, Dysphoria, Existential Issues, Fuinjutsu, Gen, Genderbending, Health Issues, Identity Issues, Introspection, Learning Styles, Mental Conditioning, Misgendering, Moral Issues, Mythology & Religion, Nezunin, Ninshu, Nintomo, Orphans, Pet Rat, ROOT Training, Rats, Reincarnation, Root - Freeform, Safe People, Safe Places, Self Insert, Self Misnaming, Sensory Overload, Sensory Underload, Supernatural Elements, Symbolism, Therapy Pet, Therapy Rat, Unreliable Narrator, mental health, mental issues, misnaming, poor coping mechanisms, references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-07-18 12:43:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7315657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HybridTrash13/pseuds/HybridTrash13, https://archiveofourown.org/users/THybrid21/pseuds/THybrid21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“No matter how the wind howls, the mountain cannot bow to it."</i>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>No matter how the world tries to change you, fundamentally you'll always remain the same. Especially when it comes to your perception of the world around you. Sure you'll grow and change, but fundamentally you'll always be the same. That's not a bad thing... of course, it's not always a good thing either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter #1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot bunnies attacked okay, I don't have to explain myself.
> 
> Also the character's name Moto Takara: 本宝. Drawn from Moto(本) meaning "base, root, origin" and Takara(宝) which is a name meaning "treasure, jewel". I found both using Behind the name(and the surename site)... also considering the similarities with the way you say Takara and the way you same my actual name Tamara, I'll be having some fun with that.

Silence is one of those things that people just don't treasure enough.

Sometimes it can be too much sure, but it's one of the few things that I really enjoy when I'm allowed to experience it. Of course, silence right after screaming my new tiny lungs out is expected. As is my completely still frame as I try to understand exactly what's happening. Why I've just been forced through a tube too small for my body and am now being held by what seem to be giants.

Of course, considering how still I am it's apparently enough to worry the giants holding me. More rushing around.

Monitors and cords. Small bands that stick to my body and I squirm because it's not exactly a pleasant sensation. Most of them are cold and it's a stark contrast from the warmth and darkness that I had grown used to. And tiny wires and pads.

A plastic prison in the form of an observation chamber. I have no idea what's going on beyond that. And the fact that I've clearly been reborn. I mean it makes a weird sort of sense with how strange and warping that everything seems. So much bigger and hard to focus on. Also everything sounds like I'm still stuck underwater. Distant and warbling, just like it was in the comforting dark space.

Honestly though, I'm just too tired. Too tired and confused. So I just close my eyes and take deep breaths, listening to a constant steady(and slow) beep in the background.

It's my lullaby.

* * *

Three months later, and I'm still in this plastic prison. Although now that's more of a choice than it initially was. I've met my new parents sort of. Although unlike how it was in the dark place, with a distant energy that circled and shielded me here they feel too much. Burning and whipping, hot and cold all at the same time. I fall even more silent in their arms than when I'm in the tank.

Because it's not just them, it's a buzz and a rush. A constant sensation that overwhelms and encompasses me. Too much of everything, movement in the distance, energy flickering and buzzing, crackling and popping.

At least in the tank it's not all encompassing and there. It's not as strong. Easier to just adjust to, since it's in a smaller density compared to the exposed air.

The worst part is though, I don't know what it actually is. I just know that it's here, there and everywhere. In everyone and everything. Even inside me, though it's more of a fuzzy presence within me, I'm aware of it. But I can't define it. Or anything outside of my body, in others, in the plants and the building materials. Dead wood still has an energy.

I wish that it were something more tangible though. Because as a tiny little infant in an observation tank most of the day I often just find myself reaching my hands up into nothing and trying to grab the energy that I can feel in the air. Or making a mental map of the world around me, since I can feel so much.

I'm at least three floors up in a hospital with too many corridors and rooms to bother counting, though I'm in the sixteenth room from the stairwell. The hospital itself has roughly four floors that I've managed to map out based purely on what I can feel when outside of my tank and being fed. And the forth floor seems to be some kind of morgue or maybe it's just the isolation and quarantine area... I'm not really sure.

Point is though I can feel a lot, and it's easily overwhelming. It also makes me one of the quietist infants on the planet. I think that sometimes the people who come and go in the room forget that I'm alive. It's probably because I really don't do much. I mean I wriggle a bit, and make noise when I'm truly desperate for attention, but for the most part. I just lie in my little tank and breath.

Even in here, in this plastic prison with wires and cords monitoring me. I can still feel a lot. It's almost too much, but at the same time not really.

Of course, there's something more. I'm not exactly sure what the more is, but I know it's there.

I let out a baby giggle and wave my arms in the air. Ripples spread both ways, always. And those echo with something... Something that I can feel, quite possibly because I've been reborn. Who knows though, I just know that it's different.

In some ways, that small difference between this life and my previous one is a comfort. Because it let's me know so much more clearly than pain that I'm alive. And so much softer, gentler, less sharp and stabbing. Less fierce and vicious. If just as easily overwhelming if I'm left alone to just feel it. My arms keep waving in the air, slowing down as I instead curl and uncurl my hands. Trying again to grasp that energy, or one of the echoes.

I want so badly to know exactly what they are.

Why I can feel them, and the energy in the world around me. Because that's different, and it's new, and I have a yearning to understand. Just as I always wanted to understand things in my previous life, but never quite seemed to grasp the facts. Always an outsider... at least here I'm not going to be learning that the hard way. Instead I'll be starting outside from the very beginning. Reaching for things that others can't see, or choose not to see. And I don't mind being different.

Being different is special.

Being different is precious.

Being different is important!

So I'll wear my difference with pride as I grow up. I yawn and my arms fall back down to my sides. Some of those presences outside of my little tank draw close. Curious, observing me. A hand rubs against the side of my face and I yawn again. A small bit of squirming, wriggling my body to try and find a position that's comfortable... and sleep.

* * *

My name is Moto Takara... and this is how I am reborn, and how I change the world... This is my story, in a world that's both new and old to me.


	2. Chapter #2

One and a half years later and I'm sitting in the middle of a room. Soft blocks are in front of me, they're made of a nice cloth. Feels a bit similar to felt honestly, but not quite the same. In my barely one and seven months old state though they're great. Nice to hold and play around with. A distraction from the rest of the world. Mostly I kind of squish them.

I don't know what happened to my parents. And I honestly don't really care. They're gone, and I'm in the middle of this room with only the cloth blocks to distract myself with. Of course, the energy is still there. Always there, a constant companion, giving me a sense of where everyone and everything else is. I've had a good year to mostly adjust to it now though.

The soft fabric of the block is comforting in my hands. A bit fuzzy, with a couple of prickly spots, but comforting. My fingers curl around the rounded sides and I feel my eyes drift shut. Deep breaths and very determinedly ignoring the man who's walking in the door behind me. He comes each week.

To see all the kids.

Inspect us, and measure us for something.

I don't think that the matron likes him that much. I don't like him that much, he smells like dirt, dust and copper. He smells like my room when I had a cold. Scratchy and yucky and way too musty. It's probably because he is fairly old... but he doesn't smell like an old person. Not really.

Old people smell of sweats, and a faint misty scent that I can never quite label... and Nana always smelt of a faint trace of paint and love. Always love... it has a scent.

The tips of my fingers dig into the plush and I open my eyes looking up at the man. Messy black hair and a permanent scowl. That's just who he is...

I feel my face twist up into a scowl. My head faces away from him and I return to my cloth blocks. I don't want to see him today. I don't want anything to do with this horrible man who feels too contained. His energy is swelling, but always tapered, kept bottled up. Never allowed to leak even the barest bit more than what he wants it to. That's... that's not how it's supposed to be.

The matron's jumps and sparks, dances around her and through her body. Just like the energy of all the other kids. That's how it's supposed to be.

Free and dancing, sharing and broadcasting emotions.

Emotions that I've always been sensitive to. Most people think of Autism on the other side of the spectrum, issues with reading emotions and understanding them... me, I've always been overly attuned to them. Put me in a situation with emotions running high and I'll likely get upset, or overexcited, or stressed out because it's overwhelming. It's why I'm in my own room here and now.

Which has lead to withdrawing.

Since I'm not in contact with others aside from the Matron, I don't get riled up as much. I've only got my toys really, since she's so often busy. Only my toys, which has lead to me been even stranger than I was in my last life. Oh I certainly understand what people are saying well enough, and I am beginning to walk around on my own. But where other toddlers are beginning to babble and explore I'm perfectly content to just sit and play with my blocks.

Or seek out new textures to explore and feel.

Or allow myself to get absorbed in the echoes and the energy. Mapping out the building and the people who come and go. Remembering the way they feel, smell and sound. It's important, in it's own way.

A small quirk, a small habit.

Just like all my other quirks and habits. The ones I can't do anymore, and the ones that I can do. Running circles, curling up to sleep with something, anything in my hands, a covering over part of my head... Small things that make me who I am. Small things that I do because they're important to me.

The man's energy is beginning to flare, heating up and causing the energy in the air around him to swirl. I look up with bright eyes to stare at the small wisps of flickering visible energy that spin higher and higher. And I tilt my head, looking at him with wide faux confusion filled eyes. What does he expect from me? Seriously, I'm one and a half.

What do I know about this place?

"Would you come with me." he asks, but it's not a question. It's not a request, it's an order. My brow furrows and my mouth firms into a stubborn line.

"NO!" I declare. Using the same word that I had begun to use incredibly often. Whenever I got upset, or unhappy, or just didn't want to deal with the other kids. Also, every time someone so much as whispered the word war. He leans down, frowning and I toss my block at him screaming the word again. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The matron giggles, hiding her mouth behind a hand and the man shoots her a glare. I pull a face, now my block is gone. I glare at him, with the best pouty face that I can pull. I'm not happy about this at all. Of course he doesn't seem to be that happy either. I can't blame him. Considering that he wants me to go with him.

Distantly I wonder if he's some kind of pedophile... And then discard the notion off hand. He doesn't have the right feel for that.

If anything he views all of us kids here as less than human. You still need to admit that you're target is human if you're a pedophile... I think. I've never actually met any pedophiles though so I can't truly be sure of that. It sounds accurate though. At least, it does to me.

"That was not a request..." he says and I frown, legs out. Hands down on the weirdly soft wooden floor between my legs. I look up at him and puff my cheeks up. I'm ready to say no again, and just keep repeating it. But he's already turning away from me and to the matron. So I merely blow a raspberry at his back. "Nonō, I expect you to bring the chosen children to the agreed location in a few weeks. After the Hokage comes on his regular visit."

A few of those words are familiar.

"Ho... Kage?" I mimic them because that's familiar. I know that word. I push myself up and onto my two feet. It's an awkward waddle, but I make it over to the matron. "Ho-Kage?" I tilt my head, and firmly ignore the man who's energy feels rather disgruntled by my movement. "Nonō?" That word, that name is also familiar.

A bit of filler, some background information. But for who, for what?

"The Hokage is the strongest shinobi of the village sweetie." she says lifting my up since I raise my arms and sort of twist them in her outfit. "Look see, those faces up on the mountain." I peer out the window, my eyes following where here hands point. "Those are the Hokages, watching over us."

"Hokage..." I whisper the word. It's finally beginning to click. Pieces slotting into place in regards to a puzzle that I was only just beginning to make. Four corners already in place but now I have the full outline.

I twist myself around to stare at the man. He's glaring at me, and all I can do is frown. Because he's more familiar now, even if he has two eyes and both arms. Danzo, the one who manipulated so much. Twisted things around and tried to take the hat away from it's proper owner. A very bad man, a dangerous man. And a very insane man, he has something of a god complex. A less obvious one than the Uchiha, but still a god complex, and a need for control.

He's a narcissist, and not even the slightly entertaining ones like Vanity Smurf, but a full blown one who's so sure of himself.

I face the window once more, looking up at the mountain. Three carvings. Three faces, all of them looking too stern. Which actually doesn't help narrow down the timeline if you think about it. I could be anywhere between when Tobirama died and made Hiruzen Hokage and the day that Hiruzen stepped down and made Minato Hokage. Stupid timelines...

Although, if I can get Danzo to admit his age that might help narrow it down... Of course, there's also the Matron's age to consider... Since she's apparently Nonō. But also that makes her Kabuto's future adoptive mother. Which she was at the age of thirty-one, when Kabuto was maybe five.

If she's sixteen now...

That's fifteen years away.

Huh. So what does that say about the timeline? Well Kabuto is three years older than Itachi, who's nine years younger than Kakashi, Obito and company. And if in fifteen years Kabuto will be five that means that Itachi would be two and Kakashi, Obito and company eleven.

So I'm older than them. Older by five years. Since in fifteen years I'll be sixteen. Huh, that's actually a decent amount of time to get things done. Except, I'm not interested in changing things at all. Sure I know how bad things will get but honestly does it matter... Then again, I am one of the idiots who now live in this world so...

Eh, I still have four years before any of the trouble generation are born. And then another fourteen after that before the shit really hits the fan... I have time.

I have... I scrunch my face up and sniffle. Because I don't like thinking about these things. I prefer to take things one day at a time. Knowing the future is painful.


	3. Chapter #3

The Hokage smells of smoke. Ash and fire, and wet monkey. It makes me wrinkle my nose and scowl at him. I don't like the smell that much. I just don't like it. Nor do I like being placed with all the other children. There's just too much noise and too many emotions and different energies. It makes me scrunch my face up and generally be a very unhappy toddler.

It's not helped when the man's child, an eleven year old decides to try and help. His hands are cold and his energy is cutting, like a sharp wind. So I slap him screaming the word no over and over again until he puts me down. The man smiles in amusement at the scene while I grumpily try to make my way out of the room, and out of the crowd. It's making me incredibly irritable. Too many different emotions. Most of the children in my age group are a mixture of excitement, curiosity and discontent.

And I just can't stand being right in the middle of the throng. Being stuck in ROOT would be better than this. And I know that I'm heading there, Danzo's interested in me. Wait a second... my mind races and I abruptly sit myself down hands flattening on the tatami floor. ROOT was still an officially sanctioned group during the Second Shinobi War, it was founded after the first sure... but it was only officially disbanded after the second.

That means I'm actually going to be part of a somewhat legit branch of Konoha's ANBU. Maybe the training methods and the fact that _children my age_ were being taken into the group are the reason it was disbanded after this war!

That's both horrifying and really, really cool.

I feel a grin spread across my face and begin to laugh. The eleven year old, who had come over to check on me actually backs away. His signature spinning and pulling in on itself in a bit of nervousness.

Oh hey look at that, his already trained to know that when a small child starts laughing they're going to pull off some kind of bullshit. No seriously, I've learnt that just by watching the others of my age group, a small glance at the roof and there're still a couple of small handprints up on the ceiling. People really should know better than to walk up the walls where small children can see them, and try to mimic them.

Apparently despite the drain that canon implies that's not enough to really deter any sufficiently motivated toddler. Especially not when that toddler is a reincarnate who's bored enough to keep trying anyway.

I grin at the eleven year old, a devil in a one year old's shoes. Be afraid, be very afraid! I wriggle my hands at him, kind of doing Pinkie's _Ooooohhooo_ thing except without the sound. Actually I'm pretty sure everypony in that series got to do that at least once... I don't know, but it's fun to do towards an eleven year old who backs away in sheer terror.

Actually especially to an eleven year old who backs away in sheer terror. Also, this is Asuma's brother, his older brother. Which is fun, especially because Asuma's not born yet.

I'm literally in a blank period of time. At least in regards to canon characters. I mean literally there's nothing in canon about this specific period of time. Actually canon's really bad about that, with weird empty areas of the timeline. The only thing that's a sure fire detail is the war... and Minato the wonder child.

Actually how old is Minato compared to me. I suddenly stop chasing Asuma's brother and sit down to ponder the question. He's not that much older than me I don't think... Also, I'm pretty sure we share a birthday... Huh?

I blink and stare at the lolly being waved in my face. My eyes actually go crosseyed as I try to follow it. Everything else kind of fading away. The lolly is mine. I growl and fist my hands eyes narrowing. A small lift of my lip, shift of my stance. And the boy yanks it up as I launch at him. Slight skid, a glare and I bare my teeth at him.

Only to be picked up with arms that hook under my own. I growl and bare my teeth at Nonō... before abashedly looking away with a pout. The boy laughs and I narrow my eyes back at him tucking myself down in Nonō's arms. I like Nonō's scent, much better than the Hokage and Danzo.

It's herbal, and medical. Like the nicer doctors who actually listened to me. A scent that's not metallic but more clean. Medical scents have so many different strains, and it usually indicates which of them are going to actually listen. If they smell too chemically and clean then they're probably going to be more focused on the fact that they _know what's best_ and _you better listen!_ rather than listening to us.

I frown and my hand curls around Nonō's arm. I prefer the ones who have less of the chemical scent, herbal is good, floral is good, maybe a small scent of copper or sweat also good.

At least those people listen.

Listening is the most important thing. It's how I learn actually, audio. Auditory learning, followed by tactile. Both are complicated, since most learning is geared towards those who learn visually. Or here in Konoha more tactile, I think... considering the emphasis on being a good shinobi. Which means Physical Education is going to be the priority. Which is a thought that I grimace at. I've never enjoyed P.E that much. Due to all the problems that I had with my body and aches and pains in my previous life.

At least in this one most of my issues thus far are personality problems and trouble with all the excess information that I'm receiving.

Which only partly includes my limited knowledge of the future.

I frown and snuggle down further, resting my head where I can hear Nonō's heartbeat. My hands remaining curled in the fabric of her sleeve. Both are comforting in their own ways. I blink and look at the Hokage with half lidded eyes. The other kids also seem to have gotten their own messages they're lined up around us.

"Ho... Kage..." I mumble, everyone important in canon wanted to be... "Me! Hokage!" I laugh a little bit wildly at the out loud thought. An impossible dream, impossible goal. Unless I get lucky. But I did take one of those joke what rank would you be tests once... That's what I got then. Hokage. According to an internet test it's the perfect rank for me. "Me, Hokage!" I release one hand from it's place on Nonō's arm.

Reach out a hand to sort of almost pat Hokage-sama's beard and then slump back. I'm smiling and I can feel the shift in his energy, and the energy of his son. Both of them are intrigued, and maybe a touch worried and fearful in the case of the son.

I grin and wave both my hands in the air.

"Reponible! Hokage, pr'tects everyone!" Oh that's a big sentence. But it's my understanding of the role. And... even though I know that I'm probably heading to ROOT. Having a goal, even if it's a loose only because everyone important seems to have it one will likely help me. "Me Hokage!" I curl my hands into a fist and put every bit of meaning that I can in the word.

Which includes a small glow of energy from within me.

Which manifests as an indigo halo of light around my body. There are gasps from around me and I don't care. I can't care because this is an important moment. A solemn promise to myself and the statement of a goal. Maybe it's for a stupid reason for the moment, but... I will grow to learn a better reason. To understand myself and this world. And then the reason won't just be because all the important people had the same goal.

_Madara, Danzo, Orochimaru, Minato, Fugaku(if the Hiden books are canon), Obito, Itachi, Naruto, Sasuke(briefly), Sarada_

And others I probably don't remember. But seriously, all the important people at one point wanted the hat. Which is why I want it currently. So that I can understand why they are the way they are.

Although, some of them aren't even born yet.

Oh well, I don't think that it matters that much. I feel the energy in the air swirl meeting the halo of indigo around me and I take a deep breath. It's nice and welcoming and I feel my smile widen. Nonō's energy flickers in a way I've never felt before and both the Hokage and his son smile.

"Well, good luck then!" he says and I blink the halo of energy disappearing as the man smiles at me. "I look forwards to seeing you join the shinobi ranks in the future..." I missed something didn't I?

Bewildered I tilt my head and stare at him with wide eyes. While the Sarutobi boy bursts into amused laughter and waves goodbye. I blink and shake my head before leaning back and peering up at Nonō.

She looks sad, almost regretful. Yet it's distant and resigned. Probably because she knows just as I do just how impossible my goal is. Thanks to one other person. Danzo.

"Hokage me!" I say with a forced smile and I reach up to pat her on the cheek. "Promise!"

Okay, that wasn't intended, but it happened. It kind of reminds me of that one scene in RWBY actually, where Oobleck asked them why they became Huntresses. None of them could answer it. I wonder, is the goal of Hokage the same. It's a goal but you don't really know why you're aiming that high? But I think that I do know.

Responsibility. Protection.

That's what being a Kage is about.

At least, having a goal, even an impossible one. Having a dream, even if it's always out of reach. _At least,_ I think yawning. It means I have something more to ground myself with. To hold onto and maintain my sense of self beyond what's left over from my previous life.

And isn't that all I need at this point?

Something to hold onto...


	4. Chapter #4

The first thing that I'll say about the ROOT base is that it's not as cold as I expected it to be. I don't know why I expected it to be cold, I just know that I did. But it's not cold, it's actually quite pleasant.

Well, if you ignore the ambience it is anyway.

The rooms are small, with a plain pair of two beds. I share mine with another child who's slightly older than me. Both of us are non-clan children. As I understand the Clan kids who're a part of this group are getting different training. I don't mind, not really. I have a goal and the other child is nice.

Though they're mute. And sign language is annoying to learn. Especially since it's specifically the ROOT version of sign language. Even though most of us are just barely old enough to run around on our own(I'm still one, it's not quite the end of October yet) we're given Kunai and forced to train.

It's not that bad actually. We help each other and our progress is carefully monitored by the older ROOT members.

The bad part is our names. All of us are referred to as the same thing. Kozue.

It's effective, I'll admit that. But it's not enough to erase an entire lifetime of responding to another name.

I'm Moto Tamara. _I'm Moto Takara!_

And now I'm also Moto(ROOT) Kozue. I think that by the end of this I'm going to have a laundry list of names and aliases that I'll respond to at any one time.

But the fact is, we're all Kozue. And it's the name we use when training, when talking to one another, for everything. Any of the older members can call out Kozue, and anyone in the room can respond. Which will lead to the first person who respond being either scolded or praised, for a random thing. For something that who knows which of us has done.

It makes us all interchangeable. One Kozue is the same as another.

It's actually kind of a pain for a one, almost two year old child like I am. I mean it's better than the orphanage, that's for sure. Not as much noise pollution. But, at the same time, now the echoes are wrong. The energy in the air is stilted and polluted with something else and sometimes I wake up choking and believing that I'm being buried alive under tonnes of dirt and dust.

My room mate helps a little. But I don't think that they know what to do. What's wrong. Nobody can know.

So I throw myself into the training that we do instead. And when I wake up in the middle of the night... Or well what I assume is the night since we're underground I lay there and simply breathe. Until I can't.

I don't know how long I've been here when I awaken feeling like I have to get out. I know that I'm still one, but I don't know how far away my birthday is. The days are all so monotonous. I take a deep breath and slide off the bed. I look over to my room mate. They're curled up facing the wall sleeping. On top of the blankets.

I blink and cover my mouth with my hands amused. Before stopping, there's a strange feeling in the air around them. I blink an narrow my eyes. Shadows? No, two shadowy figures. Blurry and indistinct. They're just shadows that flicker and have some presence there.

It's familiar.

I've seen such shadows before. Back at the orphanage around the other children and even around me. I can't quite define them yet though. I know that they're getting clearer as time passes though, and they feel important. One of the shadows stretches an arm out and kind of pats my room mate's head. It makes me feel weird...

As if I'm intruding on something private.

I back away, turn and leave our room to wander. As soon as I'm in the hall I feel it. The pulse and beat of the base. It's alive in it's own way and it calls to me. I smile and close my eyes slightly tilting my head welcoming the pulse. The ebb and the flow that I've never felt before. Maybe it only comes out at night.

When everything is at peace.

When the Danzo is away the Tamara will come out to play!

My eyes open back up and I know where to go. Down dirt halls, and crawling past open doors. Finally reaching a root surrounding wooden door. A bit of extra effort and I push it open. A burst of cool air slams into me and I gasp. It's so nice to feel and the air is so much clearer than the air within the base. I take a deep breath and scramble out bare feet resting in the cool grass. I curl my toes and spread my arms out to take another deep breath and simply bask in the moonlight.

It's nice.

There's a small sound and I stop. It's almost as though my ears perk up and I turn to face the direction of the noise. A small rustle, something moving very fast down low below the bushes. I blink and push myself up and walk in the direction of the noise.

Only I'm not able to get that far since Danzo appears. Pretty much from nowhere he just appears and plucks me from the ground. I'm about to shout no at him but he's fast. Shinobi speed and we're back underground walking through the halls. He's scowling, I'm scowling. Nobody is happy with this.

It's like trying to talk with the Mad Dummy. It just doesn't work.

Nobody is happy with this. The worst part is once we reach my room again he sits me down. Glares, closes the door and with a click locks it.

"Kozue! You will stay in your room for the night!" he says and I hear his footsteps retreating away. My arms cross themselves over my chest and I scowl, I will not be contained.

"Says you..." I mutter mutinously. I huff and storm over to my bed before pulling myself up onto it and curling up beneath the covers. It's easy enough, and the shadows are still here, around my room mate. I wonder what they are even as I yawn rubbing one hand over an eye.

It...

It probably doesn't matter.

I'll figure it out sometime in the future... There's a shift and they roll over to face me. Slip out of their bed and hop up onto mine. I blink before shifting backwards and allow them to curl up around me. I snuggle a little bit and give an almost sleepy smile as the shadows follow and stand guard of us. A yawn and I curl around and curl my hands.

Sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A slightly shorter chapter this time, because it's more set up really. Although the next one will probably be longer.
> 
> Also the idea for the way that ROOT is training them actually comes from another fic. [Five Times Shikako got Re-Reborn into the Narutoverse](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11714875/5/Five-Times-Shikako-got-Re-Reborn-into-the-Narutoverse). So you should go check it out, see all the stories... Although that's based on the wonderful [Dreaming of Sunshine](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7347955/1/Dreaming-of-Sunshine) so you might want to read that for some extra context.


	5. Chapter #5

It quickly becomes a routine. Wake up, greet my room mate(cellmate?), teeth, breakfast, stretches, weapons handling, katas, lunch, signing lessons, dinner, katas, quick shower, bed, and at night I have escapades. Every night, I find a new way to wander. Even as each day quickly blurs into the next and we grow progressing quickly.

Progression is actually almost too easy honestly. We're all given kunai and weapons, taught the katas and it's simple. Routine, and just easy. Especially for someone who's got the bored mind of an eighteen year old in a much younger body.

I'm swiftly moved up in the classes, in the names. Kimie once my weapon skills and katas are 'adequate' and then Moriko when I'm four and Danzo sees it suitable to place me in the 'Kunoichi' classes.

It's getting harder to keep track of myself honestly, but at the same time, I still have my goal and I still know. _Moto Takara wants to be Hokage! I want to be Hokage._ And that thought drives me more than anything else on my night time trips. It keeps me sane and gives me something to protect and curl around to stand for.

If you asked Danzo, or any of the older ROOT members all my numerous names, all my numerous identities are interchangeable. Both for me but also with the others in the groups that I belong to. All the Kozue, all the Kimie, and all the Moriko. All are interchangeable. In some ways it's the truth, but for me it's more. Because I still have two more names, that while I freely interchange them in my head, they mean more to me and more than anything else. The last two names are me, I may interchange them and their meanings freely but it's the facts. It's what they are to me that matters, and that impacts everything else.

Takara and Tamara are _identity_. My soul. My truth.

Kozue, Kimie and Moriko are _the mask_. ROOT, and loyalty.

It's simple fact, and it gives me more drive when I wander. Since I wander as Tamara, since I wander as Takara. The wandering is my choice. And each time I make it further, I find myself outside. I find myself mapping more than just the base. More than just this prison. I know the places that the Jonin gather, I know the distance to visit Nonō. I know the distance and where the Academy is.

And as a bonus, it drives Danzo to pulling at his hair and snarling furiously.

He could just let me go you know. But instead he comes and retrieves me every time. As if I might learn. Of course it might be because on the other hand I am clearly some sort of security hazard with my sneaking around.

But still, each night it's the same thing. As soon as it's lights out I doze for a while and then wake up. Slip out of my bed. Greet the shadowy figures watching over my room mate, and find my way out. I have so many escape routes now. I always take the optimal one, fewest patrols, least resistance at the end. And... the exit is in one of the Hokage heads. Which allows me to actually gaze over the village.

It's nice.

Like the place where you 'hide out' in Pokémon Mystery Dungeon Explorers. The cave under Sharpedo Bluff. A slight breeze and the way Konoha is semi lit at night. Candles that flicker and dance... I can see it from my spot and the wind breezes through my hair. It's enough to make me smile and just breath. More importantly, I can see the shadows, the wispy echoes of people long gone. It's only taken me three years to figure that out about them, and to be able to peer a little closer.

I simply rest there, I breathe and let my energy swirl, spreading around me and resonating in the air. Feeling the echoes and for once being happy that they're not upset or confused. Feeling everything and just knowing that this is right.

The wind is cool and I can hear the faint rustle of the leaves on the trees. The small sound of little paws scratching and scrabbling over dirt. A faint hoot of an owl and, it's right. All is right, this is how it's supposed to be. With the echoes at peace and happy, welcoming my presence and singing their greetings. With the world turning and moving and _peaceful_. Not in disarray and discord because people are hurt and confused. Lost in their own identity.

It's why I love my night time exploring. Why I still persist. This peace, this calm. It's what I thrive in. And... seeing the village at night. It's something to experience. I take another deep breath, turn and make my way out of the hidy hole. Time to go for a nice long walk. It's nice to feel the breeze even more when I exit onto the actual surface. Another deep breath as I simply stand there for a moment letting the breeze caress my skin.

My feet are bare against the grass, completely unprotected against the small prickles, against the damp and the small spots of mud that greedily suck. It's bliss. So liberating, especially since it's so far removed from the stifling environment that the ROOT base provides. It's a literal burst of fresh air. Of freedom, and hope and a time to clear myself of the pollution.

Of the conditioning.

Out here in the night, in the dark I don't have to limit myself to being Kozue, to being Kimie or Moriko.

Out here I'm truly myself.

Truly Takara...

Truly Tamara...

One or both, they're both me. Takara's the name I was given upon my rebirth, while Tamara is my original name. Eighteen years, compared to four. Yet they're both strong grounding presences. Names that I will claim as all of my own. Interchangeable just like all the rest, but mine. And that's all that matters as I wander down the moon lit path.

Down into Konoha.

I have the run of the village.

Mostly, I still have to avoid certain areas. Remain well away from the nightlife hot spots. And the jonin. But still I otherwise have the run of the village. It's as simple as breathing. Feeling the vibrancy and freedom in even the buildings. Well loved and lived in homes. The strength in the trees that grow naturally as part of the streets. The grass beneath the stone trying to sprout up and crack it...

The energy of the civilians asleep in their homes... and the wispy shadows. Faded presences who still linger simply waiting.

Waiting for what I don't know. But they're waiting. I respect them really, because it must take a long time. A lot of effort to get the agreement of the one who rules over the dead realms. I don't know...

Either way I find myself smiling at many of the shadows as I walk down the street. As I understand and simply feel their echoes, the way they all died. Why they're dead, and at least some distant reason for why they linger. It all echoes back and resonates with the world. And that comes back to me.

A weird sort of sight that let's me just know... More like a natural sonar. Echolocation, except that it's energy. It's energy and it's everywhere.

Chakra, Natural Energy...

The echoes of those who're lost...

And out here walking with my hands behind my back and feet leaving faint imprints on stone it's free. Flowing and swirling, thrumming like a heart beat. It's the beat of the world. I keep my eyes closed as I walk honestly, allowing the energy to lead me as I map out the village. Feeling the night breeze brush through my air and caress my skin. Hearing the rustle of leaves and the distant thumps of shinobi making their way through the village via the rooftops.

As long as I follow their path I'm in no danger of being caught by them.

No danger of being questioned and asked what I'm doing out this late. No chance of drawing attention to ROOT. It's important that people don't know about ROOT, it's a secret. The dark side, the shadow side. But you honestly can't have light without shadow... it's important, even if ANBU is technically already filling the role.

Yet ROOT is more...

My eyes snap open and I feel the corners of my mouth turn up. My feet guide me down a well known path and I slow. Compound walls, warm buildings, the echoes of fire and lightning, passion that burns bright.

The Uchiha Clan's Compound is my favourite place to wander near. It's so warm... Just a bit warmer than the rest of Konoha. And the emotions that the energy swirls with. Such love, hate, anger, fear, joy, exhilaration, frustration and confusion... they're so much stronger than in the rest of Konoha... So much more, and there's one that stands above the rest... Support.

The feeling of support and protection, a determination to keep those who they care for safe. It's the warmest feeling, the feeling that I bask in just curling up with my back to the compound wall. For a Clan that caused the most problems in canon, they're just people. And it's so important to me that others miss that. That it's ignored. And here resting and simply allowing the warmth to fill me. To understand the swirling emotions... It's even more important.

They're that much stronger than everyone else's... bar a few.

Autism does that...

Whether it's the attentive or inattentive version it tends to supercharge your emotions a bit.

Makes it that much harder... for an Attentive like me that means that I pick up cues easily, and a high emotion situation will rile me up with the other person... I get loud when exited, and when others are filled with energy. Empathetic people call me... and yet I still missed things, and I could get caught up in too many different emotions all at once... burn out.

Inattentive on the other hand, struggle to understand, it's a bit of noise to them... Like that constant buzz of a light that you can't turn off since without it you can't see but the buzz is the most annoying thing in the world... Also they miss cues in conversations more than attentives do...

Both sides of the coin do miss things though. Whether it's getting caught up, or simply because we're just not able to pin it down.

And the Uchiha Clan feels filled with people who're all over the Autism Spectrum... It makes me feel happy. Makes me feel like I belong when I'm here basking in the presence that gives off. So most nights I end up here, curled up in the shadow of the compound wall simply listening and familiarizing myself with their signature.

They're family...

Even if I will never properly meet any of them.

They're my family... and I'll protect them the best way that I can.


	6. Chapter #6

Kunoichi Classes honestly feel really stupid. In a room with all the other girls. Girls of various different ages. The youngest is the same age as me, four. The oldest ten, possibly eleven. But it's all really stupid. Flower arranging, dress codes and music. Walking in weighted kimono and dress clothing, sewing and learning the medical properties of various plants.

Sure there is some stuff that's interesting, but for the most part. We're not even learning the communicative meanings of the various flowers and the way they can be arranged. We're not learning folding codes, or the various different messages that can be coded into the stitching of our clothing... At least not in the actual classes.

Bored, I've begun sneaking into the library, and the Yamanaka flower shop. Counting seeds, and leafing through books. Extending my reach and learning as much as I can. Often I sit cross legged and upside down in the rafters of the library reciting passages under my breath to teach to my fellow students. I haven't got any idea how far away graduation is, and learning to fight in the weighted kimonos is a pain. Or worse the more dressy outfits with far too much fabric to worry about tripping over.

At least we've been given some version of the talk.

It was the weirdest thing honestly. I mean I'm still only four and yet they're doing seduction lessons. Everything is a weapon, best places to conceal a weapon and what sort of missions might require such things. I almost get the feeling that Danzo actually uses some of us to catch Pedophiles... which eh. I don't think that most of the others understand exactly how disturbing that is. Or how wrong it is. Most of them don't know anything else though.

Of course, even I don't really care as much as I might once have. But then again INFP... personality can be weird. Especially when you add the extra T trait, which translates to I(introverted)(i)N(tuitive)F(eeling)P(rospecting)-T(urbulent)... also the test with the train and switch or allowing one to die to save many. This operates on a similar prospect. It's kind of weird honestly, and reminds me of the example once given at a meeting.

_A father managing a track at a bridge, has to flip a switch, he has a single son. One day the switch doesn't work and there's a passenger train coming, there's a manual switch, but he would have to hold it to keep the tracks stable. As the train approaches he hears his son calling... He now has a choice, keeping holding the switch sacrificing his son, or release the switch and save his son but doom all the oblivious passengers on the train... He holds the switch, allowing his son to die..._

_God's the father... Jesus the son... Us the people on the train._

And the train test always reminded me of that. Sacrifice the one to protect the many, and ROOT drives it even further. Even if that one were my best friend, or my brother, or hell even my non existent child, I know the choice that I'd make. Sacrifice.

A lot of INFPs seem to answer it that way.

Which seems kind of OOC for our personality types, but it's about drawing connections, analyzing a situation and understanding what's at stake. It's weird though, a foundation on principals and the want... _no need_ to make the world a better place.

And yet we'd still mourn.

It makes me understand in some way though. Accepting that fact. If that kind of mission is needed then we'll do it without argument.

Although I still feel like most of these classes are useless and find myself kind of zoning out most of the stuff we're being taught. Discarding the in class stuff and instead making a mess of notes and a collection of seeds. A directory of toxic flowers, and a list of the different meanings. My room mate tolerates it with a bemused look on their face as I practice, shifting katas and repeating the hand seals trying to improve my speed. Chakra control exercises with subtly and fineness. Anything to keep myself from getting too bored. From drifting and coming up with new things again.

Mumbled half remembered theories about the original Sage's Prophecy, the paradox of Naruto's prophecy, theories about what Kamui truly was... Sketchpads that slowly fill up with half remembered Pokémon and other creatures. A couple pages of grimm, some drawings of people who haven't even been born. And I grow more and more twitchy as my fifth birthday draws closer.

And...

Graduation.

It looms closer... each and every day creeping closer depending on our skills. On our personal improvement and the way we compare to each other. The visits that Danzo comes on, his personal evaluation of us. As I understand it, he picks the people who go through the graduation ceremony at random...

When they seem to be ready.

No set date, even though there's a set group.

I know that it's close though. And honestly, I don't know how I'm going to deal with it. I'll probably focus the most on being Kimie for it. Fierce and aggressive, go for the jugular. I don't need Moriko's sweet harmless persona, cute and innocent. I'm going to need aggression, vicious and deadly. I don't need Kozue's loyal responsibility, after all it's a game of death. It'll be entirely Kimie.

In the mean time though I just wander around, and train. As things speed up I move more and more to the various training grounds. Collecting old rusty forgotten kunai and mapping out the locations used most often to others who train at night. Until I wander back to my usual spot. Curling up, my back against the wall and just breathing.

Everything is kind of blending together.

All of who I am... all of who they are. I'm ROOT, I am part of this organization. And that's made it so hard, the passage of time, the conditioning. The way that we barely have anything to cling to.

_I want to be Hokage. I promise to be Hokage!_

It's all I have to cling to. A pulse of chakra, indigo halo around me. And I just breath. In, out, in, and out. I promised, and I need to keep that, I will be Hokage. Somehow, someway. And I'm not about to lose myself to the growing darkness. It would be so easy to just let go. Even eighteen years of life is straining beneath the conditioning of ROOT.

_Moto Takara, Moto Tamara promised to be Hokage. So I promise, I promise!_

Indigo light that dances beyond closed eyes. The distant feel of the echoes and the energy in the air. Danzo's own approach. I raise my head and meet his eyes with my own before pulling my chakra back in. Slowly I stand up and he motions for me to follow him. My eyes roll automatically but I simply shove my hands down into the pockets that I sewed onto my own outfit before following him through the sleeping village.

"In another month, You've been selected to partake in the Graduation Exam!" he sounds so salty as he speaks. And all I can do is feel a smirk wind it's way across my face, eyes slightly narrow in calculation. "I do hope that you don't disappoint."

"I dread the thought Danzo-sama!" I say my voice the perfect drawl. "I won't disappoint, so perish the thought!" I add, and wow, I sound so sassy even now. A little bit of subtle rebellion. Going against the more or less fully ingrained loyalty. Of course, I would never go against his orders. Seeking out the feeling of fulfillment... I will of course reinterpret them.

And slowly, I register where we're actually heading. Not back to the base as we usually do... but instead.

"The Orphanage Danzo-sama?" I ask and I can see the way that he stiffly nods. As though he's only bringing me here grudgingly. He's not in agreement with this... I merely blink and focus on the building. Half-remembered familiar surroundings. Some parts of the walls have been repainted, and the building looks like it's been repaired. It actually looks better than I remember.

As we grow even closer though... it's like coming home. Safety, and bliss, happiness and, I actually close my eyes and tilt my head as though receiving a pat on the head, or a scratch up behind my ears. This is home, it's like coming home. Everything just feels so welcoming.

I race forwards, to engulf myself in the feelings and only slow when I feel another familiar energy signature... Chakra signature.

"Nonō!" My eyes snap open and I hurtle myself at her. She easily catches me and I curl into her arms, snuggling into her side and simply breathing. Basking in her comforting familiar presence, in the feeling of home. Some of the other children, half remembered and new faces come out to peer curiously at me. A few of them receive happy waving from me while other's merely get stared at.

Danzo meanwhile is standing right back, feeling for all the world like a grumpy wet cat. Nonō looks over at him and I can feel his scowl even when I'm not looking in his direction.

After a period I take a deep breath and sort of push myself back so that I'm sitting and looking into her face.

"Don't worry Nonō! I'll keep my promise and reach my dream!" My hands curl and I can feel the way determination settles on my face. The hum and agreement of the energy in the air and she looks almost surprised. Behind me I can hear Danzo muttering something almost upset, but I only grin. "And you'll be there to watch it!"

_I promise_

_I promise that I'll do it!_

Indigo glow, intuition... I recall the chakra colour list. It's the right to 'see' and insights. Follow your instincts and use your intuition... and that much closer to spiritual enlightenment. It likely has something to do with my status as a reincarnate. Although, this whole situation raises another question. Especially with the way that Danzo usually operates.

"Why am I allowed to visit?" I look up at Danzo with a small frown, mouth pulled carefully down. "I thought that no ROOT Trainees were allowed visits with-" I cut myself off abruptly. A weird feeling in the air catching my attention instead. It's automatic and I just slip away, chasing the feeling. Danzo chases right after me. Of course, I have places to slip through, to dart through and a fact about children is...

Often we're much faster than anyone who tries to catch us.

Especially when you're trying to catch us.

It's one of those weird things about life actually. In any case I end up farther away than he can easily close the distance. Only slowing as the feeling in the air grows stronger, closer, firmer. I slow right down, until I finally stop. At the very edge of the Forest of Death, Training Ground 44. I don't... I don't actually come here that much. Something always feeling just that slight bit off.

Dangerous.

Deadly...

But weird.

Any yet now I've been drawn right here. Standing at the very edge of the grounds, just outside the fences that keep it from spilling out into the rest of Konoha. And... there's something calling me beyond the wire and the mesh.

Except...

It's not the only thing calling to me, and feeling the other echo I decide to come back to this one later. Instead taking off in another direction, just as Danzo arrives.

Slowing only as I see the Konoha Hospital come into view. There's a literal hoard of shimmering shadow figures milling around, whispers in the air as I walk through the throng. The echoes guide me up to a window... And I perch on a branch peering through the half-fogged glass.

Brown hair, a flushed face, and purple rectangles... A man with similar features in the doorway. But my attention doesn't linger on them, my eyes darting, following the small glow of green in the air. Back to a small figure being cradled by the one who has to be the Midwife... Or Nurse... I don't know.

Small tiny features that I can't properly make out, bar two... Purple rectangles.

"Nohara Rin..."


	7. Chapter #7

Of course it's my room mate.

Of course it's the person who I've grown up with.

Of course it't the one who I actually somewhat care for.

Of course it's the one I've been exposed the most to.

Of course that's the person across from me for Graduation.

I should probably be feeling something more than a dull resignation to this path laid out before us. I should be feeling more, but honestly, I haven't allowed myself to really care all that much about any of the others here. In the orphan group... The Clan Kids have different training anyway, and I've never run into anyone who's a Clan Kid.

Either way I just take a deep breath and shift my stance. Spreading my legs, one foot forwards, the other slightly back, half lowering myself and stretching my arms. Narrowing my eyes, and it's all Kimie now. Quick calculation, quick thoughts and even though we have the same weapons, and they're slightly older, I'm the faster one.

Vicious and relentless, moving forwards and just slashing. Kunai dig into flesh and I bare my teeth, animalistic in the way I dart around and dodge. Crimson between us and I can see the confusion buried behind fear in their eyes. A vicious kind of grin and I pull myself back blood flicking off my kunai between us. It's a matter of who lives and who dies, there's no time to care about that small hint of fear.

No time to do anything aside from play on it. Make myself seem like the monster in this situation and put them even further off balance.

I'm the predator, younger by a good year or so. Yet I'm the one who's to be feared, dulling and dropping my emotions. Locking them away and going blank, focusing only on the basic rage and aggression that I'll need to be the perfect tool. And, out of the corner of my eye I can see four shadows watching, waiting.

They finally fight back, catching my wrist with their kunai and leaving a line of red.

Too little, too late.

It's almost sickening to hear the squelch of metal sinking through flesh, to feel it hit bone and send shocks up my arm. But I can't care, I'm not allowed to care even as I maintain eye contact. They make a strange gurgling whine as their eyes slowly dull from a bright brown to a more dead dark shade. I pull back finally allowing them to slump and slump myself. Grey mist, shadowy in form rises up over them and I follow it with my eyes.

Follow it as it twists and becomes somewhat more humanoid, looks around and... leaves with two of the other shadows. Two of the other echoes.

" _Rest in Peace..."_ I mutter to myself before standing back up and looking up to see Danzo. He's up in the back row of the 'arena' watching. He looks approving honestly, with a small smug smile that I can just barely make out. I feel my hands curl into fists, fingers digging into my palms. I want to wipe that smile away.

I want to... I don't even know.

He's still Danzo-sama after all, and a louder part of me is squirming in absolute glee at that approval. It's all most of us seek down here, a small trace of approval, a small amount of pride, and pleasure. It's confusing. Like being pulled in two different directions.

I'm not the only graduate of course, but I'm the youngest. Only just five where the others are seven and eight. I'm pretty much Kakashi before Kakashi... Obito's going to be born next month... also this is probably the worst Birthday ever.

Friday January 25th, and while it's today that I'm five, I also just finished the ROOT Graduation exam. Altogether there are thirteen of us who graduated today. At least among the Orphans, I don't know about the Clan Group, and honestly I don't care. Now it's just a matter of getting our blank, white, empty masks.

It's a single file line-up as we walk slowly forwards, and I keep track of the masks handed out, for a personal reference. For a personal knowledge and mark.

_Tiger/Tora, Sheep/Hitsuji, Turkey/Toruko, Dragon/Ryuu, Cat/Neko, Dog/Inu, Wolf/Okami, Badger/Anaguma, Raccoon Dog/Mujina, Fox/Kitsu, Raccoon/Rakuun, Pig/Buta_

And finally it's my turn. I accept the white mask with a blank look. A carefully blank look, my gaze lowers to it and... it's a Rat/Nezumi. Of course, the masks aren't the only things that we're given. New weapons, and the signature ROOT black jacket with red shoulder straps. Finally of course, we each receive a hitai-ate... and a key to our own apartments.

I kind of stare at the key blankly because why?

Why are they giving these out to children who aren't even ten?

What if we couldn't cook? Speaking of cooking I can only just do two minute meals, maybe shove some potatoes in the oven and make myself some toast... Garlic Bread, and if I can find any I can do some chicken dishes... of and rice...

Okay never mind I'm good. But still. We each now have our own apartments, and our own hitai-ates and masks.

Then again, it's not that big of a surprise. After all, ROOT can't be our whole existence, and didn't Sai have an apartment of his own? A place to live, and hobbies to fill his spare time. Also the others, Torune, Fu... they had lives outside of ROOT. Even if missions could come at any time, and Danzo-sama's orders come first. We still have some autonomy, the right to make some decisions for ourselves. ROOT really is like ANBU in that aspect.

Nonō is ROOT, she runs and owns the Orphanage.

It's only taken me this long to link that together. I mean it should have been one of the first things, but really it just slipped away. It's probably because I didn't, and still don't think that it's that important.

Either way I look at my key for a moment longer before shoving it deep down into my pocket. Instead I trace the edges of my rat mask, finger my new hitai-ate and try on my new ROOT Jacket.

It feels weird honestly, like I'm taking the first step down a concrete road. Where that road leads who knows... But at the same time, it feels right, to wear the jacket. To adjust the straps and fluff the short sleeves. To wear it and to have it show my allegiance in some small way. Also isn't that weird, and isn't that strange that this is the traditional ROOT attire, yet nobody ever links it together.

Or maybe they have, they just choose to be willfully blind to it... I don't know.

And I don't think that I can really care either. It just... doesn't matter. Of course, the seals are already in place. On our tongues, they were placed when I moved up in the classes, into the Moriko group. Also you would think that it would hurt, but I don't remember any pain, or much of anything in regards to the seal honestly. It's just there, oh I'm more than aware of it, and it's like an acute sense of something up and over my tongue but it doesn't hurt. It's just a little bit of weight, maybe annoying like peanut butter on the roof of your mouth, but not much more than that.

It just is...

And now I'm truly a member of ROOT, a Shinobi. Loyal to Konoha, and to Danzo-sama. To this... My hand curls around the hitai-ate just enough and I look down at it. The symbol shines, it shimmers and I can't help but smirk. Because I made it, I done it. This is the proof of my survival. I raise it up and turn it around. Resting the cloth at my forehead, the plate just a slight bit too wide, too large. Yet I insist on being proper and tie it there to bear it proudly to the world. Just to prove that I can, and to make a statement.

To make the statement that I. Am. A. Shinobi.

And I made it to this point. As soon as it's settled in place I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I smile and lift my head. Setting my jaw in a fine line of pride. I set Kakashi's record before he was even born. I mean, Obito's not even born yet, he's a month away...

Well okay, it's more like a week or two. Or three... I would have to find a calender and check to be sure.

Honestly though, it doesn't matter. Since I now have my own place, my own role to fill.

Whatever that role may be...

I take another deep breath, and simply remain in line, remain in place. With the others of this graduating class. I line up alongside Tora, Hitsuji, Toruko, Ryuu, Neko, Inu, Okami, Anaguma, Mujina, Kitsu, Rakuun, and Buta. I raise my mask, and carefully slip it over my face. The texture is strange, kind of like a plate, but not as heavy, and it's breathable unlike what most masks are... But then I have _(had?)_ issues with breathing in my previous life, and most masks didn't have the greatest of airflow.

Even this mask is kind of stifling, not quite enough airflow and the weight is a bit strange and new and really I'm not sure that I like this.

But I deal with it, pushing that all down and instead focusing on Danzo-sama as he stands in front of us all. His eyes scan over us, there's a slight upwards turn of his lips and he sweeps out an arm over all of us.

"I congratulate you. The few to make it this far..." and I tune out most of the words, absorbing them but not really listening. Not until he started giving us actual names. Our 'public' identities.

_Kagiko/Tora. Pecora/Hitsuji. Hanemaru/Toruko, Ikari/Ryuu, Tokoro/Neko. Kaori/Inu. Konioi/Okami. Tsuchiki/Anaguma. Suana/Mujina. Chame/Kitsu. Hizoku/Rakuun. Kariki/Buta._

But before he can give me yet another name I hold up a hand and purposefully say _my name_. Not this world's one, not Takara... but.

"Tamara..." It means Palm Tree. And once, I thought that it meant spice, but here and now... this is a way to have a small piece of independence. A small tiny bit of myself back. Danzo blinks, momentarily taken aback and I take a deep breath. "My name... it Moto Takara, Moto... meaning _Root, base_ or _origin_ and Takara meaning treasure... I don't forget easily Danzo-Sama. Please allow me this choice, my Public image, should be Tamara, meaning _Palm Tree_ " He frowns and I cross my arms.

This is my choice, a small request. A small bit of me stretching things, trying to establish myself and regain some of my independence. I hold Danzo-sama's gaze, a set to my jaw and faint narrowing of my eyes.

I'm not going to budge on this matter.

Stubborn, independent, and headstrong. All three of those descriptors aptly describe me, I've always had those traits. But also; Loyal, Determined, and Hard-Working. There's a reason my first, my primary Hogwarts house was always Hufflepuff, followed closely by Slytherin...

There's a reason that both of those houses were mine. Are mine.

And it comes around to how others misused the house system. Misread and assumed and forgot all the other details. Traits most common, traits forgotten. But in this case, it's using both parts to unite and stand for this one _small thing_.

"Of course... Tamara." Danzo practically bites out the word, the name and I feel a smirk wind across my face behind the mask of Nezumi.

I won.


	8. Chapter #8

I lost...

I lost and really I should have known better. Fighting for that small thing, just for my name has gotten me sent to Uzushio. On one of Danzo's personally set missions and whoa... _Blackkat was right..._

Danzo did help with the fall of Uzushio... though at this point that's still a good seventeen, maybe eighteen months away, still a good year. Also, I've seen the little mini-baby-Obito... and he was _born here!_ He was born in Uzushio. Born here, and I was there for it. Lingering around the hospital that day because it was the least crowded place... The _safest place_. That was a couple of weeks ago. And I still remember it so clearly.

Familiar, safe chakra cutting through the panic. And following it up, and curling in a tree. Settling there and just basking before everything sort of shifted and settled and... Like with Rin I peered through the window... and... well, I'll be honest, considering how I already felt about the Uchiha and my preformed opinion in regards to Obito... There was a certain sense of _mine_.

But still that was a couple of weeks ago... And while they're still here, I haven't really approached them. Because I'm _supposed_ to be here on a mission. Not that I'm going to actually do that. I mean seriously. Did Danzo miss the memo that Uzushiogakure was our ally?

Also, there's a fair bit of wriggle room with the order:

" _Go and help out in Uzushiogakure!"_

So if I might get a bit _mixed up_ when the Invasion happens who can blame me? But still the crowds here are really too much. So many echoes and different sensations, too much energy and activity and after the years mostly spent within the ROOT Base or wandering around Konoha at night time. It's too much.

There's just too many sensations around and I'm not used to it.

I've actually had several breakdowns so far. And retreated to the 'quieter' areas. Around the hospital, or patrolling through the Graveyard. Which eh... it's only barely any change really. The whole of Uzushio is just teeming with life, an over-abundance and it actually hurts to be right in the middle of all that sensation. So I stay as best I can on the outskirts...

I think that it's the sea air. The salty fresh scent, the sandy shores and just the freedom that this place has.

It's just...

I don't know...

It's just that I'm not used to this. Not used to being outside, and feeling the sun and feeling everyone, hearing them all babble and cheerfully greet one another. To be greeted with an explosion at the dawn, to have my own _home._ Even if the one hear is a farce. It's _mine._ And it's enough.

I just wish that it wasn't closer to the center of the village. I don't live there alone of course, in fact I share the small bungalow with two other ROOT members. I know them as Weasel/Itachi(though _that Itachi_ hasn't been born yet) and Mole/Mogura. I don't know if they have actual given names... civilian identities... and I honestly don't care.

Itachi is annoying, with a tendency to clean up any organized mess that I make, and reshuffle the ordering of our spices when I'm not looking. Also he has this horrible off shade of puke green hair, It looks like a dye job gone horribly wrong. Add the scarring across his face that just looks pitiful rather than intimidating and he's just kind of sad... honestly though I just get annoyed with him. Mogura is honestly forgettable. I keep forgetting that she's there, with her natural brown hair and just generally average features. She's too quiet, and silent and unobtrusive.

I just generally don't deal well with either extreme.

I just don't deal well with them. So I wander, like I always do, skirting around the edges and just existing. And it's easy, well... easier.

And, I honestly enjoy it. Even with the overwhelming amount of sensations, it's just, it's an amazing place. Filled with life and energy and... I can't help but _need_ to protect it. These people are Konoha's allies. _Our allies_. How could I possibly think of even standing by.

" _Go and help out in Uzushiogakure!"_

Thanks for being an idiot Danzo... and so vague in your orders.

I smile and walk along the beach with bare feet. The slight spray is nice, a familiar nostalgic sensation. The brushing and rippling of the small waves over my feet, toes that curl into the soggy clinging sand. It's like walking down the beaches in Seaspray, except with less Jellyfish washing up onto the yellow-cream sand. And less tidepools, less mountainous piles of sand, no high line.

It's still nice and nostalgic though.

And I can't help but sigh and smile distantly as I walk down the sandy bank. As I just bask in the peace of the beach.

It doesn't last nearly long enough. Laughter reaches my ears and along with it echoes. Energy and happiness and I simply turn around. Clasping hands behind my back and watching. Two red-heads, one ginger, a blonde and one silver haired brat. None of them have noticed me, racing towards the water and too busy laughing. Getting caught up with one another. They all look ten.

A good five years older than me.

I mean hey, I'm only five myself.

Five.

 _FIVE_.

I'm _five_ and a shinobi, living pretty much on my own. Because I honestly don't believe that Itachi or Mogura count, they're worse at the whole taking care of themselves thing than I am after all. I actually do most of the cooking, and time management stuff. Mostly, cleaning though is not a priority. It just isn't. They both can clean, they're decent at that... I'm the only one of us who can really cook though.

It's my role...

Aside from this... Whatever this is. Standing at the edge of the water and just observing those around us. Strolling through Uzushiogakure and understanding. I frown and sit down in the sand, slipping my hands into the water and just breathing.

"Hey! Who're you?"

_Annoying..._

I tilt my head and slowly turn to stare at the boy who's speaking to me. It's the ginger, and I will specify that, since the others are _red-heads_ quite specifically red, ginger has a kind of orange shine to it, a different shade. He has these bright green, emerald eyes and a light smattering of brown freckles over his face. Soft features still undefined and weighed with baby-fat. He's almost cute honestly, in that distant precious way that makes elders want to pinch your cheeks.

"Moto Tamara..." I say before returning my gaze to the water. "And no, I don't wish to play with you."

Honestly I want to learn some fuinjutsu while I'm here. I mean this is _Uzushiogakure_ , the fuinjutsu capitol. The homeland of the Uzumaki, and the place that's just-

I scowl at the feeling of a poke in my side. My head snaps around and... it's one of the other children, the blonde. She's got sparkling red eyes, and a huge smile, a gap tooth and all I can do is sigh and roll my eyes.

"I'm not interested in playing a fools game..." I say rolling my eyes and ignoring her.

"Really? Aren't you a kid to?" I huff and look back at them. And now it really is all of them, the silver haired child having come over, hair looking far too straight, and long for a boy. The twin red-heads are also kind of scary, identical down to the last little scratch on their skin. Both of them girls, with messy hair and bright sea deep blue eyes.

"Doesn't mean I act like one!" Is all I say. Because, I really don't. And I shrug before standing up. "Everyone matures at different rates after all... it's part of the balance between your Chi and Ki..." a Chi overbalance leads to more maturity, and a slightly faster development in the mind... Because you expect to be able to think things through just that little bit more maturely.

Doesn't mean that I still have the same impulse control though, and I really can't care. A kick of the sand is responded to with a yelp and I race cackling down the beach.

"Hey!"

"No fair!"

"GET BACK HERE YOU BRAT!"

I don't slow down, too caught up in the thrill. I may be more mature than most five year olds... but my maturity basically taps out at the relative level of an eight year old if I'm being honest. I'm a bit of a brat, demanding and stubborn, and prone to poor impulse control. I might have the reasoning skills of an eighteen year old, but that doesn't mean I have the focus to use them. Which is why I actually don't mind _playing_ with these kids.

Really though, it's more that I'm taunting them. Always staying just ahead of them and cackling. Racing up my namesake tree I stand pretty much horizontal and smirk down at them. Sticking out my tongue(the seals right at the back... no one will see it) at them and proceeding to march up higher until I find on of the few branches actually on this palm tree. Relaxing I settle on the branch and allow my legs to dangle.

And it's... it's nice.

Feeling the breeze in my hair. Only distantly hearing and registering the shouts of the other kids and... the sparkling sunshine that dances on the waves.

It's nice.

Peaceful.

I half close my eyes and lean back, my back resting against the only slightly scratchy but mostly smooth trunk. The large leaves that fan out over my head shelter me, whispering in the wind. And I just breath, settled and happy and...

Shadows, dancing misty figures out on the water...

It sort of jolts me back to awareness. And I sit right up, my hands resting on the surface beneath me as I stare out across the ocean. My hair swaying with the wind and the leaves. Another breath, a slow blink and the slight tightness in my chest. There's something else, a shift, an echo. A small tilt of my head, looking down off to the side. Canine shapes moving in the low bushes along the shoreline, and other shapes. Foxes, rodents... animals. And...

Creatures that don't quite belong to the world.

A sharp pain jolts through me. Something so familiar and I can't help the yelp that turns into a choke. Hands the clutch at my shirt and curl. The sharp, desperate intake of breath... And it's crushing me, pushing down with a sword jabbed there... and I can't... So sharp and tight and _wrong_ , pain, it hurts and there's a sword in my chest _why?_

I don't consciously register much again until I'm coming back down from the haze and there's white. Sheets, and walls, worried familiar onyx eyes and...

Oh...

Uh oh.

I'm looking right into the face of Obito's father. I think that I might have to change my plans, whatever they are...


	9. Chapter #9

Well that's it...

My existence is busted. People now know that I'm here, and I can't... can't just blend back into the background now. Because people are aware of me, and since I'm a child they're not just going to let me slip under the radar. Not this time.

Before it was mostly luck that I had been avoiding notice. Luck and careful consideration of where I went and what I was doing.

Hands fist the white sheets and I avert my eyes from the Uchiha watching me.

This is not part of the plan. My plan was to stay out of sight mostly and then creep back in and subvert the invasion. Which yeah, that's been blown wide open by the simple fact that there will be no slipping back under the radar. I've caught their attention, and now they'll be asking questions. Especially since Itachi and Mogura actually aren't all that much older than me. Itachi is maybe nine and Mogura eleven.

Children...

We're all children.

Even most normal shinobi would find that pretty shocking... though not necessarily horrifying. I mean from what I've seen, it's not really something that you don't see. Orphans on their own, nobody really watching them. Although the youngest that you can really get a place of your own is what, ten-ish? Then again, Naruto was living on his own in Canon well before that, six or seven-ish... so yeah.

Ikioi is kind of screwball like that...

But still, children. And I know that I'm not going to be able to just slip under the radar now... After all, the Uchiha beside me watching... he has to recognize my chakra. Because of my little routine. Which means he will ask... and... I don't want to answer.

I can't answer.

Really.

I can't. Because it's related to ROOT, to the seal, information that I just wouldn't be able to share. Even if I wanted to. Which I don't. I really don't, because it's not as if it matters. Not in the long run, not to me. I don't have to answer questions about those things.

And if he asks about my little routine.

It's not like there's any reason to hide that.

Familiar, safe, welcoming and comfort.

That's what the Uchiha Clan meant to me, and what their chakra felt like. Because happy autistic families are important. Individual people who are autistic and happy are important. People who can understand why they are different and be happy about it... they're important.

Acceptance...

Is important.

But the man won't ask. So I don't answer.

It's just a period of silence. Something that stretches between us before I finally sigh and allow my eyes to flicker up and meet his. Black into hazel. I blink before sighing again.

"Moto Takara..." a small pause and I feel my fingers threading into the cloth sheets. "My name... Moto Takara..." it's subtle, a subtle bit of extra trust, and a shred of defiance. Takara is the name that my Okaasan, and Nonō. Takara is this life's name, and although I managed to get my previous one assigned to me... well. Defiance is always nice.

Defiance is always nice...

And, I do trust the Uchiha. More than I trust others, his chakra as a sliver of that I've felt from the compound on my various wanderings is familiar. Comforting and safe. And, that probably will extend to his whole family.

But still, there is something else. I just subtly lean over and around, and there are wisps of energy drifting through the air. Visible to me, but I doubt that anyone else would notice. I highly doubt it, unless the sharingan can, but...

"What are you looking at?" I snap my attention back to Obito's father and narrow my eyes. He doesn't have the sharingan active. Then again, he probably doesn't need to have it active, not if he's just watching over me.

"Nothing..." I say, because really, I'm not looking at anything in particular. Although, at the same time that's a lie. Because I'm looking at the wisps, and feeling the energy in the air, the echoes. And that's when things shift, and there's a ripple.

A ripple and he doesn't even have a chance to reach for me before I'm moving. Out the window, and bounding away. Landing easily on the ground, lifting my head. I can see all the echoes, and feel it, the slippery shade. Something is wrong, it's not meant to be here. Not now, _not yet_ , _not_ _ **ever**_ **.** I refuse.

I refuse.

So I grit my teeth and feel the traces, and the echoes. Feel the wrongness of the shadow in the air, and I know. I know... It actually shocks me back into reality. Because the echo, the shadow is over something, someone else. Which means...

It truly must be influenced by what people expect of the world. When you're reincarnated. Because it reminds me of how different Dreaming of Sunshine was compared to canon, even when you removed Shikako... and it just makes me shake my head. Grit my teeth and focus.

There is no time.

"I don't have time for this... There's no time!" I growl, the words escaping my mouth in English. "There's no time..." I snarl, skidding to a stop and darting around another corner. I can feel that creature. I can feel it. The echoes are all incredibly upset about it as well. And-

(There, left! There)

_There is no time..._

A flare, a pulse and I can just barely make it. A kunai, a weapon in my hands before I can even think. It's useless. Against this thing it's useless but it's something. I lance forwards, my arm sweeping the air and slicing nothing. I grit my teeth and stop, glaring.

This shouldn't be happening...

_There is no time..._

"I won't let you!" I snarl, dropping back. And they launch towards me. Forcing me to slip to the side and around. "I refuse to allow you!" I growl, feeling the echoes in the air. Feeling the energy and understanding. Because this is a ripple, something changed.

What that is I don't know.

_There is no time..._

(Look out!)

A jump, a duck, and wood that lurches up from the ground. Spiking in a way that would have impaled me. And I can feel the flare of my chakra in response. Cutting across my blade, covering it with crackling lightning.

"Raiton: Nagare!" I snarl sweeping it out and an arc of electricity lights up the area. It's useless, but it gives me a moment. "I don't know why you're here... but I won't let you hurt them!" because the being's target is so obvious. Hand seals are completed with barely a thought. "Raiton: Raigeki!"

And lightning arches. I land easily enough before stopping. The Uchiha is right there. I only give him the barest glance though before dropping down. A rush of something goes over my head before one of the others appears. White and goopy, not quite with a proper form, yet recognizable enough.

Not welcome here.

(There is no time! Move, danger! Protect them!)

"No!" I howl, swapping out raiton for futon. Hand signs, my chakra twisting and "Futon: Daitoppa" It's easy, and right after I race. After the shadow, after the echo. Because there is no time and I'm not going to let it get what it wants. Not now, not ever. "No! I refuse!" I growl, leaping up to race sideways along the wall.

It's the easiest way to avoid the traps set along the ground.

It's the easiest way.

And right behind me, I can feel the Uchiha. I don't know if that's good or bad. Even as I push myself further and I can feel it and... a skid, a slide, brushing my hand over a stone. Sliding, grinding and it's easy to just jump down. Navigate the secrets of Uzushiogakure. Popping out ahead of our enemy.

Because that's what he is.

The wind here is calm. Still and quiet, as if it's waiting with me. The echoes are silent and I can barely see the wisps. A deep breath, and I close my eyes to focus.

One. Two. Three.

I snap my eyes back open and slip to the side just in time. Gold glitters in the shadows and I palm a pair of kunai. I am Kimie. I am passion and aggression. This is what I am training to fight, training against. A vicious grin, and flashing teeth.

A shift in my chakra and I can actually see the realization in those golden orbs. Everything just shifts, and even the echoes shift, adjusting to my shift. Blood is not in the air, but it's not necessary. I grin, and a small bit of laughter low and mocking echoes from me.

"My turn!"

Darting forwards, and I see the moment that they're forced to doge. I laugh before darting, dancing around their counters. I feel like Chara in the Genocide run honestly, far too much fun... or really. I must be Sans in this position. Because I'm standing in his way.

"It's a beautiful day!" I sing landing easily and smiling at the creature. "Friend, you're gonna have a bad time!" I smirk before launching myself forwards. And zipping around, lightning flaring over my kunai again. After all, chakra manipulation is mostly a form of extension of will. Of belief... kind of like Flames I guess, in a way...

I mean, it is half spiritual energy.

A vicious grin and the glint of sunshine off steel. And they're gone, beneath the ground. I bounce around, before landing easily. It's merely a matter of tracing and following the echoes.

"I'm stronger than you!" sing song, even though they're easily able to slip around my attack. I grin, before that drops. My eyes dart and I can see the Uchiha standing there. Staring. I roll my eyes before rolling under the response attack. "This is where it stops, This is where it ends. If you want to get past me, Well, you better try again." I cheerfully sing, in English because that's how I remember it.

And I can feel his anger.

"So go ahead and hit me if you're able..." I dance around the next attack before jumping back rapidly making hand seals. "Futon: Daitoppa" and I don't have many jutsu left in me really. "By now you know mercy's off the table!" I laugh before leaping up. And that's when a fireball interrupts things.

I land and actually feel the glare I send towards the Uchiha and... Okay, it's understandable why he would step in but seriously. And when I look back Kuro is gone. The echoes linked to them are fading fast as well.

"Great..." I sigh before slipping back into my normal frame of mind and looking at the Uchiha with crossed arms. "Sorry, had no time for explanations..." I grumble. Before slumping. "It's just... that thing is not supposed to be here... or anywhere really... they are just wrong..." I look back where it disappeared and growl, hands unconsciously curling.

"Hey now..." I look up at him. "Let's go back to the hospital now, and calm down..." he says and I roll myself but smile despite myself.

"Can... can I meet your baby?"

And he laughs at my earnest question. And really, well, plans change. So if I can, I'm going to see if they can stick around... because this... this is an opening.

Time to twist things, my way.

Sorry Danzo...

Not this time.

_There is no time..._


	10. Chapter #10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in time for Obito's birthday. Yep, I've finished the chapter ready to post and for you all to enjoy... so here you all go.

Obito is the most adorable baby in the world. He is just the most adorable, precious, little life. And maybe I'm a bit biased but...

But he really is.

And, he's my little brother. Maybe not by blood, maybe not by adoption(at least not if Danzo still has his fingers on the strings...) but... It's something that I've decided all for myself. He's my little brother. Mine. And in the end, that's all that really matters. Others can say what they want, do what they want, and obstruct it. But deep down, I have made my decision.

_Mine._

Anything and everything else is secondary... but even now, sitting in the same room as his parents. Watching them, and simply basking in their presence. This is forcing me to change my plans.

Because I can't slip back into anonymity.

I can't slip back into the background.

Pretend I'm not here. Nope.

That avenue is gone, the door has been shut and I am now stuck taking a different road.

Not that this is really a problem. I've always been one for meandering down whichever path is open to me. Taking problems as they come and roll with the punches. As long as there is some amount of predictability... Which right now I actually don't know. By the way that they're acting they might try to adopt me(which Danzo would attempt to shut down), and considering Kuro has already appeared once... the being will definitely try again. And I'm not entirely certain Kuro isn't also a driving force behind the future annihilation of Uzushiogakure... But again, those things are predictable.

To a point.

Because I don't entirely know when they will happen, or how.

And of course, I still know that the destruction of Uzushio is imminent. Coming next year. But, I also think that I know how to subvert and change that. I think that I can prevent it from being as much of a devastation that it was in the Prime Timeline. Or what is better known as Canon Naruto.

It's all about the predictability in the end.

So I can roll with it all perfectly well. Because I know what's coming, I know and I can predict.

And right now. Right now that's all that really matters. That and the fact that Obito is a tiny adorable little squishy baby right now. He's just so small and precious and my heart is literally some hot and goopy mess in my chest in the face of his presence. I just can't. I can't help it, because he's a baby, and he's adorable and he's mine. My brother, mine to protect. No matter what anyone else says.

And I won't let Kuro near.

Not. At. All.

That shadow won't take away my brother. Nope. Or his parents. And I slowly raise my head, eyes flickering from one to the other. It's actually strange if I take a step back to think about it. Because we're given nothing more than a photo of them in canon, and it's not even in full colour. Old, washed out and well, old. So to see them, I just want to change their fate as well. Because Obito should be allowed to know his parents. He should be given that chance. And I'll make sure that it happens. Somehow...

But I don't know how... what's going to happen. I have theories... but who knows. It's because the world is still different. Still new and... Expectations... I blink and furrow my brow. Something about expectations and the way that the world works. Something, something the details are all about perspective. But the rest. Well, there is information that I just don't know. That I didn't care to know, and I have no way to predict that. No way to know what actually happened in certain cases because I just didn't care enough.

I mean, I never truly made it through canon because Naruto, _the main character_ , just pissed me right off. He was annoying, I mean pre-shippuden he was alright but Shippuden, yeah no. Also personality types and people who MBTI-analyzed him as an ENFP, when he actually needed solid facts and couldn't put together the big picture(never the big picture). As for acting with feelings... surface level only. Surface level only, he gets the immediate feeling and understands it but can't see the reasoning... and it's eh. He's not an ENFP despite what so many people thought, he's an ESTP. And because of his personality as he grew and developed in Shippuden I just quit. Which leaves me now with quite a few holes in my understanding of what's going to happen.

Which yeah. But hey, things are still predictable. Minus all that I don't know. But well, that can all be filled in.

It's just a matter of learning more about the world around me, about the people. And that's something that I can do. As an INFP it interests me, finding things out, taking them apart and understanding. As someone who's autistic, it helps, because it leads to me being able to predict and adjust accordingly.

Ultimately, I can deal with all of these changes. I just need to get my feet under me and figure out which way to walk. My plan really hasn't changed that much when it comes to the baseline. Hang around, act innocent and then screw over those attempting to destroy Uzushio before anything can really happen.

Easy, easy, not so easy... I scrunch my face up as Obito shifts and my thought train kind of derails. Because it's going to be hard to convince them that I'll be fine staying here in Uzushio. For longer than they're planning on.

I wonder if I'll need to go find Itachi and Mogura to try and fix this. Because I _can't_ go back to Konoha. Not yet. I have to remain here right up to the invasion. Otherwise I won't be able to get around fast enough to all the defences that I'm sure will be sabotaged the day of the invasion.

I shift my arms just slightly and huff out a sigh. Closing my eyes and just, considering things. Feeling the chakra of the family in front of me and just... This is something I want to protect but also, another deep breath. The aura of Uzushio, this place, the life and vibrancy. It needs to be preserved. And currently, I open my eyes about half-lidded and just look at the family.

There's a branch here.

There's a branch here and I don't know what choices there are. Or... maybe the issue is that I do. I do, and I don't.

Two choices.

Choose to accept the offer of family that I know is coming, now... or hold off until later to ask them... Or take a third option if I can figure it out. Of course, there are probably more branches. Things that I'm missing. But those are the obvious ones.

The most obvious.

Not the only ones. But the ones I can easily predict and obviously decide between. Well, they're slightly more easy to predict. Because they have clear paths with obvious ramifications. Consequences that are tangible. And really, the fact is, I need to be here. Otherwise there just won't be enough time.

_There is no time..._

The choice is obvious really. And I lean back just slightly. Raising my eyes to the roof and smiling. Before huffing out a sigh and pushing myself up. Standing. Which catches their attention. I only smile before turning around and pausing.

"Nice to meet you!" I say before sighing. "I have to go." _I need to remain here_. Until the right time. And then, then I can change things more. Accept being part of a family. Accept. I don't know. First I need to sort out this mess here first. The issue with Uzushiogakure's imminent destruction. And to do that, it's as simple as stepping out and with the right movement.

Uzushio is full of secret passages and paths. And I'm soon far from the hospital. Close to one of the Graveyards. And one of the barrier markers. I take a deep breath, smelling the dampness of the grass and distantly the salty spray of the sea. But beneath both, I take another breath, before slowly sinking down in the shadow of a memorial marker. It's easy. It's simple...

It's avoidance.

Plain and simple. I curl up, looping my arms around my legs and lowering my face into my knees. I can feel the echoes in the air, in the ground. Graveyards are always full of them, but I don't care. I merely breathe. I merely breathe in and out. Because that's why I came here, why I chose this particular path. Because this one is one of the lesser visited ones, out of the way. But still, I slowly raise my head up, looking out and across the other graves. The memorial stones, stacked and placed. Markers for the dead.

Markers for mourning.

And...

I narrow my eyes. Before standing up and casually shoving my hands into my pockets. Or at least I attempt to. It's a little bit hard considering that I'm still in a hospital gown though. Stupid thing. I stick out my tongue before ripping it off and running a hand through my hair. It's easy enough to get from this graveyard to the 'house' I'm staying in with Mogura and Itachi. But I don't really want to go 'home' right now. I don't want to see either of them. So instead I dig one foot into the dirt beneath them and cross my arms.

Before sighing.

Nothing I can really do about that now.

So I just shake my head, before looking up at the sky. It honestly looks a little bit overcast. A storm is brewing... how fitting. How fitting, considering that while this storm is coming physically there is a much larger, more metaphorical one coming as well. And the seeds have been sown. Are still being sown. Because if I can save Uzushiogakure. If I can save this, protect this. My mouth twists up at the corners and I turn around and begin walking.

Slowly, casually.

As if I'm merely another visitor to the graveyard. But I know what my target here is. I know where it is, what it is, and it's kind of hard for them to hide when it sticks out like a sore thumb. The echoes vibrant, loud and bright around it.

One of the barrier markers and... And the first key to determining exactly how I'll be able to help out in Uzushiogakure.

"Not this time..." I whisper, eyes darting to the side. "Not while I'm around..."


	11. Chapter #11

Nobody can come in...

But also nobody can really leave.

I might have been a bit short-sighted in this plan of mine. Oh sure, the defences are in effect, and working but... it's causing more than a few issues. Finding each of the markers was easy enough, getting the higoshas to talk and listen to me was also easy enough... It's just, getting them to wait until the invasion actually became an issue is a whole other story, and it didn't work. So now Uzushio is on lockdown. Not that anyone seems to really mind... Aside the Uchiha Family, and to be fair they probably are beginning to worry about getting home. Back to Konoha.

I mean I know I would be... I am... I...

Slowly I sort of slink my way over to them. And just slip into line, into step alongside them. And I know that Obito's father is aware of me. And probably his mother as well, because they're both shinobi, they're both trained. They're both sensors of a kind, at least I _think_ that they're sensors. Though I couldn't possibly know. I'm not in their heads, I only have my own head, my own perspective to go on.

And the little hints.

The pieces that canon gave us. Such as the fact that Obito became a sensor... was a sensor... well he was able to figure it out eventually. That gives some points to his parents potentially being sensors... also the Sharingan has some kind of sensory perception enhancement, even beyond the whole sharpened sight and memories thing. I mean Obito did say something about being able to see the chakra flow with an active sharingan... right?

Not that it really matters one way or the other, because I slip into line and just walk alongside them. Hopefully they won't ask any questions, because I really don't want to lie today. I just, don't.

Ask no questions, hear no lies.

I can feel the eyes on me. The sense that they're watching me, judging, trying to figure me out. They're not the only ones... And I feel my hands curl, my mouth twitch and my eyes dart to the side. Scanning. Yet I can't see it. I can see the small wisps, feel the echoes, but I can't see _it_. Can't see him, that damnable shadow.

It's still too early for him to be here!

Damn it, what is he doing here. It's wrong, _not right_ and I _hatehatehate_ him even more than Danzo-sama. I mean, I still hate Danzo-sama... but it's all mixed up with feelings of adoration and the fact that he's well... _Danzo-sama_ , a guardian and a mentor... that _thing_ doesn't have any such blocks for how I feel about it. And therefore gets the full blast of well... hate. Even if it's not an emotion I really indulge in.

Some people and things just deserve it.

No second chances for some.

This is weird you know because normally, I'm well, little Miss Second Chance. As bad as the fandom occasionally made Dumbledore out to be in some ways, _and you get a second chance, and you, and you, everyone gets a second chance!_ Although, I do have a line. And this thing, well, the Shadow crossed it a long, long time ago. Nobody messes with those I care about and truly gets away onehundred percent free. Not unless they redeem themselves, and take that step, then it's forgive and forget allow the water to wash it away.

Forgiveness is really important you know...

Tit fer Tat.

Anyway, I fall in line. Keeping step with the Uchiha couple and just, basking in the family atmosphere I guess. I miss this honestly, I really do, having a family and a younger sibling. And, funnily enough, the age difference here. It's the same as it used to be between me and my younger step sister. Five years give or take. It's kind of hilarious really. In that twisted up with irony way.

But, he's also still a newborn.

So small and precious and _Ihavetoprotecthim!_ He's my baby brother, no matter what else ends up happening as we move towards the future.

And I can feel in the echoes that that _eldritch_ is still here, so I'm just, on edge. But at the same time, I have sort of put up the failsafe so there's a much lower chance of Kirigakure and Iwagakure tag-teaming and destroying Uzushiogakure. But considering that _thing_ is here, I'm getting suspicious.

There has to be more to it than just fear of fuinjutsu. _There has to be more_. And I feel my hands curl, my head prickle under my hair and the small twitch of my nose as I sniff. I tremble, lips pulling back as I know. _I know_. And I actually bristle because pieces are connecting and one of my little headcanon/theories is edging back into my mind. About the way to get rid of Kuro without the whole mess that canon went through.

Except Uzushiogakure was gone, the Uchiha Clan wiped out... The Senju Clan is a non-existence. And the others, well... Non-applicable to the events going on in canon. So yeah. I mean, I'm sure that they exist in this world, because perceptions and shifting events and sheesh, things change just by virtue of dropping in one pebble. Because ripples spread both ways. Forwards and backwards, out both ways. In some ways it's strange because to that effect from an outsiders perspective the past events aren't even really set in stone until someone lands in there or begins to observe the timeline.

This might also go towards explaining some of the timeline inconsistencies in canon actually. Shifting and changing because of all the various jutsu that people use. Time stretches and snaps, twisting itself up in a pretty bow.

Big ball of timey wimey stuff indeed.

But that makes this predicament I've caused all the more interesting really. Because the implications of this... They're something that just amaze me. Even if I'm literally the only one who realizes that they exist. That they're there. Because I'm an outsider, and I already had a vague idea of things. To everyone already here though, it's normal. What's happened has happened and it's linear. Straight, understandable. The timeline smooths itself out into something workable for the particular dimension/universe that they're in. Even with me dropped in, the timeline is straighter now than it ever seemed as an outsider looking in.

Reading the manga, watching the anime... browsing fanfiction.

_General Sedecim: Inferis de Carcere Infinitum_

My theory, my headcanon. My world building. Here it's real because this is my new reality and it's been spun around to match expectations just enough. Just enough. Because even with that, there are things that I don't know, that I hemmed and hawwed about, never quite settling on. And Kuro is here, so there has to be more. _There just has to_. But for the life of me, I can't quite grasp it, the thoughts slipping away like smoke between my fingertips.

It's frustrating.

But I just keep in step. Remaining in line. Because it's enough. I can't go chasing that thing down demanding answers. Not when I know at least part of them already. And my eyes dart, away from the side, momentarily looking at Obito.

 _Child of the Eclipse. The Sun and Moon coming together to form the Eclipse_.

That's what Obito is. An Eclipse Child, considering all the symbolism that's just hard to ignore between the two clans. And hell, I'm not oblivious, I'm not stupid. I know my own headcanons. I know _exactly_ what his parents are. And... technically who they are even though they've yet to really introduce themselves to me. It must be so weird really.

But I just go with it.

Because why should I question it? It makes a weird sort of sense. I know why it's happening, and I know how. In a way, so why should I question the fact that I just know some things that most other people would be salivating about. Trying their darndest to uncover.

Not that I'm really going to go out of my way to cause trouble with the information I hold. I mean, I'll certainly change things, but trouble will happen as a side effect. Like right now. I have potentially solved one problem only to create an entirely new one. Actions have consequences after all.

_For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction._

When will you learn, when will you learn, that your actions have consequences?

A rhetorical question. But one that some people still struggle with. And even I struggle, because consequences always seem so far away, or they're just unimaginable from the limited perspective that I have. Even here, even now, I only know a few things for sure, _past, present, future_. And I need to change the latter. To protect.

To shield.

To preserve.

And I have partially succeeded. But... I tilt my head just slightly, eyes narrowing before I curl my fingers. The echoes light up in my vision, and pulse faintly in the air. A deep breath. Allowing myself to fall behind, to trail further and further. Until I stop. Sharp narrowed eyes, focusing on the shadows. Not in regards to Kuro though. I know the elderich is near, watching me.

But that's not a problem. Not right now. No there is something more pressing.

"What is it?" I bark, snapping my head up, and straightening myself. There is only silence in response and I shift awkwardly, almost rocking back on my heels before tilting my head. "Fine! I'll go back to the bungalow... meet you there!" A shift in the shadows and I slightly incline my head before leaping.

It's like flying. Rooftop to rooftop, letting the wind take me across the village until I jump, and catch myself with a pole twisting around to send myself into an open window. Duck and roll to land properly before bouncing back up to my feet. A quick pat down, before running a hand through my messy hair with a grimace.

Pushing open my rooms door and exiting into the sitting room. I plop myself easily down on the couch and settle back closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. I feel more than hear or see my companions returning. I sigh, blowing out a breath before opening my eyes. Looking at first Itachi, with his horrible off colour hair and then Mogura almost doing a double take when I realize that yes she's there.

Another breath, before I roll my eyes.

"Well... What is it?"

"What have you done Nezumi?" Itachi steps forwards, and if he could use emotion I could almost imagine him snarling. "What have you done?" Mogura steps up beside him, and for a moment, just a moment, I felt regret.

But...

I will sink with my choices. I chose the right thing to do... Now to face the other consequences.

"We can't report to Danzo-sama anymore Nezumi! _What have you done?"_


End file.
